Because I Question…

I may not speak for the majority here but did you ever think that maybe there is a purpose behind the selfie?

No, I’m not popular. I’m not a celebrity or some well-known face on the internet but I’m working toward something. I mainly post selfies to get my face and name out there as a writer and as an online personality. As an aspiring author, I am using social media to gain a following. I tweet. I instagram. I Facebook. I blog. I don’t do it all, but I do most of it. This is the only reason I have the following I have now and I don’t regret one minute of doing it this way.

But there is more.

If you look through my social media, you will see that the vast, vast majority of it is silly stuff. Superheroes. Fandoms. Lip syncing. It’s the type of thing that my target audience is spending their time looking at online.

Life. Bounce. Fun people who make them laugh.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’m funny. I’m saying other people say I’m funny and that encourages me to continue posting the sillies so I can continue to grow my following and in turn, my readership. But even better than funny, they see that I am a human. I communicate with my readers and followers. I make friendships and acquaintances that last longer than some I make with people in person.

That is what’s behind the vast majority of my selfies, yes?

Ok. Then, there are the rest. The serious faces. The small, crooked smiles. The off-in-the-distance look.

No, I am not fishing for compliments when I put up a picture of myself. No, I am not vain and thinking that I look oh-so-good and wanna be “hot” for the internet.

Yes, it is a self esteem thing…but not like you think. I do not have a self-esteem issue in the sense of thinking I’m not pretty. I do have a self-esteem “quirk” in the sense of self-worth and humanity. My choices in life define who I am in my own life. I learn about myself in every yes or no that I speak.

My friends in high school drank and smoked marijuana. I refused. I never touched the stuff. Why? Because I wanted to see myself as clearly as possible – inside. I have always been in tune with my body and my mind. I have always been aware of everything around me. Others’ feelings. People’s judgements and desires.

You can laugh if you want but I found a purpose behind the hashtag #selfie that most of the world probably doesn’t realize. When I am in a negative mood or if I’m feeling down about myself for whatever circumstances (really, it could be anything from cranky kids to lacking sleep to more serious issues), I put myself “together” – whether it’s makeup or just doing my hair and changing into something normal people wear – and I take a picture. I use #selfie or #selfietuesday or something similar, then I post my the picture…

…then I click on the hashtag and look at my face amongst the other hundreds of thousands of selfies. I see that I’m not different than anyone else there. I remind myself that I’m human. I see the other faces and think, “all of these people have families and hobbies and passions and dreams. All of these people make mistakes and go through life with pain and hardships and happiness and excitement and fear. I’m just one of them. And there are millions of others that I don’t see here.”

Crazy? Well…if you’re answer is yes, then you must not be one of my regulars. Almost everything I say is crazy and that’s what makes me who I am. I question myself. I question my choices in life and I question my very existence. Then…I use modern day technology to remind myself that because I question, I am capable of change.

As long as I am capable of change, no amount of negativity or problems or pain can really, truly hurt me.

2 Comments

  1. I can relate to the introspection. Who are we, why do we do what we do, etc. I can’t relate to the selfies. But I am not a pretty man. 😛 Selfies have exploded narcisism. If you can use it in a way that helps you out, beyond “I’m hawt,” that’s awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s true – selfies *have* exploded narcissism. I think the fear of people thinking that’s what has been behind my selfies sparked the idea to blog this.

    Like

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